Father's Day Fiasco 2013
Thursday 6/13
Mom finally comes to terms with the fact that, due to the lateness of the date owing to the fact that she never has any concept whatsoever of the current day or month, it will surely prove impossible to order something for Dad that will stand any chance of arriving on time. A hasty trip to Walmart follows in which cards and some random Father's Day gifts, up to and including some variety of pepper plant that, despite warnings that Dad already has 10 species of pepper plant living in the garden, the kids happened by on the way into the store from the mulch area and instantaneously locked in on as THE one and only PERFECT Father's Day gift and of course - dun dun DUN - The Cake That Time Forgot.
It was an ice cream cake. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Friendly's. doomed.
Dinnertime
Cake safely stored in the chest freezer.
Leftovers for dinner.
Mom's on the couch reading a book to her eldest. (Summer Reading Program season. We do little else these days.) Dad yells in from the kitchen, announcing that someone has unplugged the chest freezer. He thinks it's been a few days. It's still cold inside, but his much-beloved pork ribs have gone soft. Mom sighs, realizing he's probably spotted the cake; hoping it hasn't gone too terribly soft; recalling how she al-most put it in the downstairs freezer instead, but didn't want to venture into the dark, potentially spidery basement alone with a cumbersome ice cream cake in hand. You know, because something bad might befall it on the way down. Domestic irony at its best.
Friday 6/14
Dad mentions having inadvertently discovered one of his Father's Day gifts. Mom points out that noticing the cake was somewhat unavoidable due to her negligence in putting it upstairs rather than safely in the basement, coupled with the inconvenience of the unplugged freezer. Dad gazes studiously in her direction for a moment before affirming that he knows nothing about any frozen cake and that he was referring to the aforementioned mystery variety pepper plant which, due to its inconvenient desire for full sunlight, has been "hidden" in plain sight on the side walkway since yesterday afternoon.
Mom shrugs off the cake query as well, but with growing apprehension. As Dad heads into the bathroom, Mom makes for the chest freezer where, sure enough, she finds the cake, probably mushy but salvageable at the time of demise, tossed carelessly aside in the quest for the much coveted softened pork ribs. The former cake lies, melted, mangled, and refrozen, against the side of the box, like the paper-covered blocks of ice cream they used to sell when I was kid.
If the box was sold only half full.
And sideways.
Friday Night
Kids are in bed.
Mom's formulating a backup plan.
Feeling guilty already for the money she wasted on the first cake (and concerned about who is ever going to finish all that ice cream), Mom hesitates to pay for another one. She settles on two feasible Father's Day Salvage Plans. The family can either a) bake a regular cake - something that goes well with peanut butter ice cream - and have cake & ice cream instead or b) get some toppings together and have Father's Day ice cream sundaes.
Dad's preference is requested.
One day, we all hope, Mom will learn this one simple truth: Dad NEVER has an opinion about these things.
Ever.
He tells Mom to "surprise him."
Mom HATES surprising people and decides she'll bring it up for a vote instead. Her face falls as she remembers how the voting process generally unfolds:
Gesturing to one side of herself and then the other as though there were one child seated to each side of her, Mom gushes, "Each of them always picks a different option just so they can disagree, like this, (right side) 'Cake & Ice Cream!' (left side) 'Sundae Bar!'
Dad interjects, "But that's why we have Corinne talking now... as the tiebreaker."
(If the only purpose in having an odd number of offspring is ascertain a constant tiebreaker than sooner or later, we're gonna need another one... But then, there's also this:)
Mom glances skeptically in his direction before replying, "Yeeaah, Corinne's not much of a tiebreaker."
Dad nods his concession as Mom gestures pointedly to the space in front of her where Hypothetical Corinne and voice the "tiebreaker" response in unison: "YES!!!"
Saturday 6/15
Miraculously, Mom is saved a trip to the store when a unanimous vote is cast for Sundae Bar!
It's True.
Miracles DO still happen,
particularly on Father's Day,
and possibly Festivus.
But mostly Father's Day.
Sunday 6/16
Sundae Bar Success!
Proof positive that success is in the eye of the beholder :)
We'll leave you with a couple of Father's Day poems Logan wrote for Zach's homemade cards that you might enjoy. Julianne and Corinne liked these verses so much they had to have them printed on their own cards as well.
Note: He's REALLY into the 'Roses are Red' format at this time.
Poem #1
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I love my Daddy.
How about you?
Poem #2
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Cheesecake is sweet.
Daddy is too.
Happy Father's Day All From The Washa Family!
