Suburban Legend
(Okay, Rural. But Suburban was catchier.)
Zach's a cable guy, so he visits other people's homes for a living.
And you know how people are always trying to rid themselves of their old, unwanted items?
Well, let's just say some cable guys could better have gone in to recycling...
Here's the story of an average "find:"
Zach: You'll never guess what I'm bringing home.
Me: Junk?
Zach: What?! No! Not "junk." A ten year old TV!
Me: So... junk?
Zach: That's not junk! Where can you find a ten a year old TV anymore?
Me: At the dump?
Zach: What? No, not the dump. It still works!
Me: Well it's not coming in my house.
Zach: Alright. I'll put it in the garage.
The air hockey table was reluctantly classified as 'quality junk,' thereby making the cut for a coveted basement spot.
A few weeks later...
Grandpa Dennis: Logan, if you don't shape up I'm just going to put you down in the basement with all the spiders and snakes and...
Logan (anxiously): ...air hockey tables?
Princess Bride fans may appreciate this next part.
Everyone else will undoubtedly either begin scratching their heads or scrolling wildly...
both sure signs that they should immediately go out and rent The Princess Bride right this minute.
Go ahead.
You really should.
Cereal Mom blog will still be here when you get back.
GRANDPA
...what are the three terrors of the rural basement? One, the snake bites. No problem. There's a hissing sound proceeding each one, we can avoid that. Two, the Cellar Spider. But you were clever enough to discover their web layout when you weren't paying attention the last time, so in the future we can avoid those too.
LOGAN
Grandpa, what about the A.T.U.Q.'s?
GRANDPA
Air hockey Tables of Unusual Quality? I don't think they exist...
*GASP*
They DO exist!
(oops, there's nothing left to scroll down to.
Might as well go out and rent it...)
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