Mason 365: Day 15

Peaches and Dreams

I have a dream that one day I will put an abundance of time and effort into playing a trick on Zach that he will actually acknowledge and appreciate.

I have a dream that my trick will run seemlessly from start to finish and that, at its conclusion, my husband will stand before me, aghast at the sheer depth of my boundless intellect.

I have a dream that one day my four little children will finally get a chance to see Dad give Mom the hard-earned credit she so richly deserves.

Here's a story about a different day...

The Date: Monday ~5:00 PM
The Scene: front of our house.

• I was on the porch with Logan... and Mason... and maybe some other random kids.
• Zach was over by the garage with his back to us.
• Grandpa Dennis was organizing stuff in the yard.

Me (gesturing toward Logan): We really should get him a haircut if we're going to try to get pictures taken next week.
Zach: What? Get who a haircut?

Me (flabbergasted): Mason. (pause for emphasis; and fighting the urge to choke him) No. Obviously Logan! Who else would I be talking about. Your dad can handle his own haircuts and Mason doesn't have any hair.
Zach: Oh. Right.
Logan: Mason has no hair?!
Me: Well, he has some hair. Just not very much.
Dennis: Yeah. Why I've seen peaches with more hair than that.
(The kids were very, very amused by that comment - and wanted peaches added to the grocery list.)

Two days later, I took Logan for the aforementioned haircut. As we were driving home, I had an absolutely brilliant brainstorm (read: incredibly insane idea.)

As I pulled into our driveway, I ordered the kids to stay in their seats while I ran inside to get my camera. I then drove down the street to the local salon (I had gotten Logan's hair cut at a different salon while we were out), and pulled two soon-to-be sopping wet kids our of the nice, dry car, into the pouring rain. With help from a nice lady who happened to be walking by and most likely assumed I was heading into the salon to get my kids and I a haircut - you know, like a normal person would be - I marched them through the salon doors, approached a stylist, and proceeded to make the following not-well-rehearsed, slightly unbalanced request:
Me: Hi! I don't need a haircut. I wanted to ask you for a favor. (silence) It's a little crazy. (Every head in the salon (including those with scissors pointed at them, swivels in my direction.))
Stylist: That's okay. We're a little crazy here. What do you need?
Me (almost in a whisper): I want to play a trick on my husband.
Stylist (leaning in closer): I'm sorry, what?
Me (ah what the heck? might as well just spit it out): The other day, Zach (we hardly ever get our hair cut in town, but this is a very small town; they know who Zach is) and I were talking about getting Logan's hair cut - or at least I thought we were. I said "we should really think about getting his hair cut," and Zach said, "whose hair?" So I said, "Mason's, obviously." He didn't object, so I thought it would be funny if I got his picture taken in the hair cutting chair (the official, technical term) then told Zach I actually did get his hair cut, and asked him what he thinks of it.
Stylist: Oh sure! Go ahead.

There was a small amount of discussion about how best to seat him in the chair. 

(By the way, just looked it up, they're called Salon or Styling Chairs, 

in case anyone was interested, and didn't know already.)

A decision was pretty quickly reached that, given his inability to sit independently, 

car seat and all was the best seating option. 

A young stylist was then instructed to pretend she was giving him a haircut.

Have I mentioned lately how much I Love Highland?

He was pretty interested in the comb.

Best Fake Haircut Ever!

The lady who was sitting in the next salon chair was getting her hair cut when we came in.

She suggested we put some hair in an envelope marked 'My First Haircut' 

so that we could present Zach with 'evidence.'

I put in a little hair from my bangs mixed with a little from Corinne's.

I should've borrowed some from a peach instead.

*sigh*

notes for next time...

He totally bought it!

Zach (and Wags) checking out Mason's "new" hairdo.

Here's how it went down...

Me: So, I did something weird today... (nothing new)

Zach: Okay... Whadyou do?

Me: Well, I was thinking about what you said about getting Mason's hair cut and I thought since I was taking Logan to get a haircut anyway, it might actually be a good idea to get Mason's cut too. You know, so he'll be kind of used to it when he actually needs one.

Zach: Okay...

Me: So look! I got some pictures of him. Aren't they cute? (I have to say that I was genuinely  proud of my adorable baby haircut pics. Maybe I'll take him there again once his peach fuzz grows out so I can get some real ones.)

Zach:  <3 Aww.

Me: And look, I even got this first haircut envelope with some of his hair in it.

(Zach checks out the hair, then nearly blows my cover by asking me why I'm taking pictures. I think fast and tell him I'm documenting all the exciting 'first haircut' moments. He buys it. It's logical in context. I do that sort of thing a lot.)

Me: So... take a look at it. See what you think. Does it look any different?

Zach: (Carefully examining the "haircut.") No. 

Me: That's because it's the SAME! I didn't get his hair cut. I just got the ladies at the salon to pretend they were cutting his hair so I could take pictures! And the hair in the envelope is mine and Corinne's.

(Logan has arrived by this point. We're pretty proud of our trick. Zach's expression has gone completely blank. He starts muttering things like, "Yeah, whatever," and "That was just weird," and "You really would do something like that.")

I would and I did, and I probably will again.

After all, I still have a dream...